Sometimes I wonder.

I wonder what my purpose is. A lot.
I believe more so than the average person. I believe that everyone was put on this earth for a reason.
But what is mine?

I think I was meant to be a healer.
To fix everyone else’s hearts, lives, souls…but unable to repair my own.
Unable to understand it even.

I have been looking for something for a long time. That piece of the world that makes me complete.
You will hear me talk about this a lot throughout this blog,
“the piece of me that I long to find”.

My biggest fear is never figuring it out, like a mission that is bound to fail…

It is actually a really scary feeling, (or even belief). The thought that we could only be here for 1 reason, and once complete, so is our time on earth. It’s just a theory of mine, that doesn’t even stem from anywhere, I have no real religious beliefs, no proof or  facts that steer me in this direction of thought. I have no idea where the idea even came from, I would assume a movie (My Sister’s Keeper maybe?) I might have to watch that again to see if it answers any of my questions.

Oh the questions of life. When do they stop, and where do they begin?


Stop and catch your breath…

Have you had that moment, you know, the one you feel was responsible for changing the path you lead in life? I have. All it took was 1 video. 1 video that a classmate of mine posted on Facebook, and BAM, life as I knew it was over.

Honestly, it changed something in me. It caught my breath, and I swear, I didn’t breathe as I watched in awe of what was on the screen before me. I love these moments, I really do. Finding something that speaks to you in a way that no human has been able to…it’s almost over whelming, and I am so thankful for these small things, that make such a huge impact in my life. Watching it calms me, it makes me free. It centres me like I never understood was possible. A Video, I know, it’s crazy. Just hear me out.

I am one of those people who loves too easily, does too much for others, gives up everything for someone else. I am an old soul, some might even say a lost child. I haven’t fully found my purpose in life. I am still finding myself and finding out what truly makes me happy. So when I do find these little pieces, these little pieces of my heaven, I know that they are clues or pieces that will help me make myself whole. Which is something I long to be, whole. Will it ever happen? I don’t really know. I believe that I know what will make me whole, but I do not know if that is something I may ever be able to face. I am hoping through this journey, I will be able to lead myself home.

So now I will share with you, one of these pieces. This video is titled “The Mountain” by TSO Photography, whom you can find here http://vimeo.com/terjes

I hope it moves you, the way it moved me. Please feel free to share with me, something that has made you stop and catch your breath.

// Counting Stars In The Rain //


#BlissdomCA 2014

After a long morning at school, and and hour and a half drive, I have finally arrived at BlissdomCA. I’ve been a nervous wreck all day, but as I sit here in my room, eating veggies and dip, and watching the construction workers work on my balcony, I am feeling a little more at ease. This hotel room is beautiful. There are orange accents everywhere which are somehow making me feel at home.

Here’s hoping for smooth sailing all the way through to Sunday. Let the games begin.